My Uncle Max called, told me that if I want to still see my father in life form (so to speak) that tonight is the night. I can't! I just can't go up there. I know it makes me awful, but I just can't. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know rather to be sad or not. He was out of my life from when I was 8 till 21. And about 4 months after he started coming back around we found out about the cancer. He lived with until the end of May this year, and the entire time he and I butted heads. We just didn't get along. And there is so much more to this story, but now isn't the time to talk about his short comings. All I know is he will be gone before the week is out and I can't go to the nursing home.